Happiness Is a Big, Fast Wagon

Why don't more people buy these big, beautiful, and fast sleds?

Big, V8 performance cars’ days are numbered. With tightening emissions standards and hybrid/electric technology progressing by what seems like the hour, gas-guzzling ground-pounders aren’t long for this world. Which is a shame, as when you combine big V8 power with a car design that’s barely existed for the past twenty-or-so years, it truly is something special. Something special that more people should buy, so that this wonderful harmony of automotive glory can stick around for just a tad longer.

Picture Details:

  • Car(s): 2021 Mercedes-AMG E63 S Wagon
  • Location: Angeles National Forest, Southern California
  • Photog: Peter Nelson (IG + Twitter: @16vpete)
  • Camera: Canon 6D, Canon EF 50mm 1.8 AF

In this instance I’m talking about the 2021 Mercedes-AMG E63 S Wagon. It’s got big V8 power and is a wagon; the former is becoming more and more rare, the latter is already very rare. It’s actually not a big V8, only 4.0-liters, but its two iron snails residing in the valley of its V enable it to produce 603 horsepower and 627 pound-feet of torque. With all-wheel drive and some right-foot courage it’ll get to 60 MPH in just 3.4 seconds. That’s frankly amazing, especially considering its 4700-pound curb weight.

Though, is it actually? As spec’d the pictured wagon costs a whopping $120-or-so-thousand dollars. It better be able to launch and bend time with the best of ’em. That’s Aston Martin Vantage money, and more than a Veloster-N-worth of an upcharge over a wild performance option by Dodge.

Whether the value is there is another discussion, though real quick: thing is comfortable as heck. It’s also large and roomy, and handles better than any sporty SUV could ever hope to.

I wish people would buy these over normie fast luxury SUV fair. The pricing is around the same, and dammit the world needs more fast, angry, loud wagons on its streets. Especially considering they’re already so rare, and probably won’t be around much longer.

Here’s another one, because this thing is just so damn photogenic. That color that’s eating up sunshine is a matte called “Brilliant Blue Magno”:

Happiness Is a Big, Fast Wagon
Image: Peter Nelson
Peter Nelson

Peter NelsonPeter Nelson has been wrenching on and playing with cars since he started driving them quickly between the cones at Chicagoland autocross events in his late teens. Nowadays, he can be found wringing out his Mazda2 at tracks all over California. His writing background includes Winding Road, Donut Media, and Autolist.com. He's also an avid cyclist and '80s/'90s action film connoisseur. Contact the author here.