No, but seriously

Testing the Armorall guarantee.

2009-11-05T18:52:00.001-07:00

I don't know if you've ever used those ArmorAll glass wipes in your car, but if so you'll know that within days of cracking the seal on the tub, they're all dried out and basically useless. I recently bought a "to go" pack of these wipes which have a different packaging, and come with the following emblazoned on the front of the packet - "Guaranteed Wipes Stay Moist". Well - we're going to test that guarantee because the wipes were almost dry when they came out of the packet new, and since then - over the last three weeks - have dried out completely despite being sealed in their packet. I've sent an enquiry to ArmorAll's customer service - we'll see if that results in anything.

Don't drive on tyres more than 6 years old.

2009-10-30T11:31:00.000-06:00

With winter coming up, a lot of people will be getting ready to swap to snow tyres. This is a great time to do a critical safety check on your car. Find the DOT age code on your tyres and check how old they are. The DOT code is a 3- or 4-digit code stamped right at the end of the series of letters and numbers after 'DOT' on the tyre sidewall.
If it's a three-digit code, for example 345, then it means the tyre was manufactured in the 34th week of 1995. If it's a four-digit code, for example 1204, then it means the tyre was manufactured in the 12th week of 2004.
You should never be using, buying or riding around on tyres that are more than 6 years old no matter what condition they appear to be in. If you have tyres with a three digit date code, get rid of them - they're too old. If you have tyres with a four digit date code, then check my DOT tyre age calculator to find out the maximum age your date code should be for them to still be considered roadworthy.
It doesn't matter if the tyre looks new and has full tread depth - if it's more than 6 years old, it simply isn't safe to use any more. Bear this in mind when you go to buy your next set of tyres - ask to see the date code before they're fitted to your car. It's not uncommon for dealers to have old stock sitting around that even they don't know is more than 6 years out of date.

Driving mantra Part 9 - S.I.P.D.E

2009-10-25T16:24:00.000-06:00

This part could easily have been the first or the last entry in this series of driving mantra. I chose to put it at the end because it encompasses everything I've talked about over the last few weeks and it's a simple technique that you should learn and use to the point where it becomes habit. If you've ridden a motorcycle for any length of time, you will be practicing S.I.P.D.E without even knowing it. You have to - it's the only way to stay safe on a motorbike. But for car drivers this is often a difficult concept to grasp, coccooned inside their mobile entertainment complexes. If you've ever seen a police driver training video where you can hear one of the officers constantly narrating what is going on, that's S.I.P.D.E. It would sound a little like this:
"Approaching a road on the left - no traffic. Bus stop to the right - old lady there - could be deaf or blind - might walk into traffic. Car in front slowing down. Car behind getting a bit too close. Bicycle on the pavement - has he seen us. Old lady has sat down - probably OK. Car now approaching junction in front of us - driver looking the other way. Bus coming towards us having to go wide to get around cyclist." etc etc etc. It's a constant, real-time observation of everything going on around the police car. So what is S.I.P.D.E? Search, Identify, Predict, Decide, Execute.
Search for problems before they happen. Is that person approaching from the side road a little too fast? Have they seen you? Identify the hazards around you. Someone texting on their cellphone? Someone distracted by kids in the back seat? Predict - try to predict what the traffic around you is going to do. Can you see a lane closed ahead? Chances are the cars in front of you are going to try to merge and if they do, will they be paying attention? Decide what to do - can you slow down and make room? Can you avoid the problem by changing lanes? Execute your decision - just do it. If this all sounds complicated and exhausting then you're right - it is. Driving a car should never be considered a luxury, or a right, or something that is easy. It's a complex interaction between you, the 2 ton weapon you're driving, the road and the other road users. If you can get into the habit of this sort of prediction-avoidance loop, you will be able to drive far more smoothly than you would simply by reacting to events only when they happen. And when you drive smoothly, as I said in Part 1 - the river flows a lot more easily.

That concludes my mini series on driving mantra. Hopefully you got something useful out of it and hopefully it will give you pause for thought next time you step behind the wheel.

Driving mantra Part 8 - Cruisin'

2009-10-20T14:57:00.002-06:00

Too many people, especially here in America, think cruise control is the be-all and end-all of long distance driving. They'll set the cruise control at some given speed and then stay there irrespective of anything that might be going on around them. A classic example is an overtaking truck. I saw this recently and it prompted me to include it in this mini series. We were all coming up behind a slower car in the inside lane. The truck about half a mile in front of me pulled out to overtake just as we reached a slight gradient. It was a laden tanker so he started running out of steam pretty quickly but was very nearly past the slower car - probably less than 2m to go. The driver of the car just sat there though. He didn't speed up to get past and let the truck pull back in, nor did he click the cruise control down a notch to allow the truck to get in front and pull in. No - for 3 miles he sat staring at the truck's indicator. By the time the truck did pull in, there was a line of traffic about half a mile long behind us - all because captain cruise control didn't think to help the situation out. So who was at fault here? The truck driver for attempting to overtake on a gradient in the first place or the car driver for being obstinate and not allowing the truck back in? I'd go with the car driver here. The truck had completed 95% of the overtaking and the car driver simply would not take account of the changed situation. Instead he stuck to his guns and glued up the freeway for 3 miles. So if you find yourself in this situation, take notice of what's going on around you and don't zone out. Adjust your cruise control. Remember the flowing river.

Driving mantra Part 7 - The safety bubble.

2009-10-15T16:24:00.000-06:00

When you're travelling at 120km/h on the motorway, and everyone else is doing the same speed, it all looks relatively calm. Your speed relative to everyone else is within 5 to 10km/h of them. Everything seems relatively peaceful. In reality you're still doing 120km/h and that will be brought home in a big way when something goes wrong. When traffic is flowing smoothly, there's not a lot of energy being transferred because there's not much change of speed or direction. But when you start to brake or swerve, things start to go downhill very quickly indeed. Complex forces come into play that will easily overwhelm all but the most experienced driver in a fraction of a second. So you need to consider a safety bubble around your car. A virtual airspace where you don't want anyone else to be. If someone else gets into your safety bubble, adjust your speed or road position to resolve the situation. The safety bubble gives you a known area around your vehicle within which you can maneuver. It absorbs some of the variations in speed brought on by variable traffic, and gives you an "out" on at least one side for if things in front go pear-shaped. Think of it like an undercover operative thinks when they enter unfamiliar territory. Be suspicious of the vehicles around you and know the exit routes in case you need them.

Driving mantra Part 6 - Use your eyes properly.

2009-10-10T16:24:00.000-06:00

If you really want to stand a chance of driving smoothly, you need to look way further ahead than the car in front. Some people will suggest looking at the vanishing point but I find that takes too much of the near-field away from me. Instead I recommend you watch the car in front of the car in front. That gives you an early warning of what is coming up. If that vehicle suddenly brakes, then it's a good bet the vehicle in front of you will do the same. If you've anticipated this by already slowing down, then you've bought yourself more time and road space to do something about it when the next car in line does the same. The same goes for swerving or emergency moves. Can you see the lane is closed up ahead some way? Then change lanes now. Don't wait for everyone in front to do it - just because they can't see any further ahead than the tip of their own steering wheel doesn't mean you should follow suit.
In a related note, get used to the relative size of pedestrians as you're driving. This sounds a little odd at first but think of this: is that person in the road in front of you an adult who is 100m away or a child who is 30m away? Making the wrong choice could be disastrous and anedotal evidence suggests that this could be a contributing factor to the number of children hit by cars. People are so used to thinking in terms of adult size, that their interpretation of a child standing in the road is actually that it's an adult standing much further away. That mistake fools them into believing they have more space for avoidance than they actually do, often with tragic consequences.
Finally, don't get distracted. Your cellphone isn't that important. Neither is the in-seat DVD, the navigation system or the climate control. You are at the wheel of a 2-ton weapon and when you get distracted you become dangerous. Keep your mind on the job at hand - driving - and if you must take a cellphone call, find somewhere to pull over and do it. Your time and convenience is not worth more than the safety of roads users other than yourself. However simple and safe car manufacturers make it seem, driving is a complex task with life-threatening consquences when you get it wrong. Treat it as such.

Driving mantra Part 5 - Use your indicators and brakes in the right order.

2009-10-05T16:23:00.000-06:00

Remember in part 2 I said that your tail lights are your only real form of communication with those behind you? Throw us a bone. If you're going to turn off, use your indicators first. Give those drivers behind you some clue what you're going to do. As you approach the turning, begin to slow down. The drivers behind you (if they're attentive) will begin to slow down too. If you can, gauge your speed so you can turn without coming to a complete stop. It's the analogy from part 1 again - water flowing in a river. If you brake first, then indicate only once you've come to a complete stop, you gave nobody behind you any clue what your intentions were, so now everyone is forced to bunch up and stop behind you instead of being given the option to go around you or slow down and give you room to get out of the way. You're the blockage in the river, creating turbulence.

Driving mantra Part 4 - The proper use of mirrors.

2009-09-30T16:23:00.000-06:00

Your mirrors are there for a reason so use them. But understand their limitations and advantages first. Every vehicle has blind spots - areas behind and around you that you can't see into because of the design and position of the windows and mirrors. You can minimise the size of these blind spots by adjusting your mirrors properly - and again this is something that most drivers will find hard to do and even harder to use to start with. Most drivers have their external rear view mirrors adjusted so they can see some of the rear of the car in them. Wrong. Doing this creates the biggest blind spots. To adjust them properly, do this. If you're in a left-hand-drive car, sit in the driver's seat and tilt your head as far to the left as you can - so you're resting on the window. Don't lean your body - just your head. Look in the left external mirror and adjust it so you can just see a little bit of the rear of your car. Now when you sit upright again, in your left mirror, you won't be able to see any of the rear of your own car. Do the same for the right mirror, but tilt your head to the right so your cheek is resting on your shoulder. If you do this properly, as a vehicle passes you on either side, you should be able to see the nose of it in the side rear view mirrors just as the tail end of it disappears from your center mirror. Voila - tiny blind spots. Now this never excuses you for not double-checking. Every motorcyclist is trained to do head-checks and as a car driver you really ought to do the same. If you check your mirrors and you're not 100% sure, do a quick over-the-shoulder check before turning or changing lanes. If more people did this by habit, there would be a lot less side-swipe accidents.
The last thing to know about mirrors is how you drive when you're behind a larger vehicle. It's really super simple. If you can't see the mirrors of the truck in front of you, he can't see you following him. (Plus it means you're way the hell too close to him). Fall back - make sure you can see one if not both of his external rear view mirrors. It gives you more chance to anticipate his moves, and it gives him more chance of seeing you.

Driving mantra Part 3 - Your arms, airbags and steering wheels.

2009-09-25T16:16:00.000-06:00

Think about this for a second. Your airbag in your steering wheel can inflate quicker than you can blink. That's a tremendous amount of force involved during the inflation and if your arms are crossed on the steering wheel when this happens, they will be propelled into your face at about 250km/h or 150mph. That means broken arms and a fractured skull. The same is true with side airbags - if you drive in the summer with the window down and your arm out to the side, expect it to be broken or dislocated if the airbag goes off. So what to do? Well you just need to keep this in the back of your mind when you're driving and pick hand positions on the steering wheel that are most appropriate to your situation. Forget that ten-to-two crap - that's old-school mantra for back in the days when cars didn't have power steering. In fact, in a modern car, that's probably the last place you want your hands in the event of an emergency, because it gives you the most leverage on the steering wheel. The last thing you need when you're panicking is to yank down hard on one side of the steering wheel in a car with power steering - it will change direction very abruptly, and in the worst case, induce the car to flip and roll. With the airbag being in the middle of the wheel, you really should avoid resting the palm of your hand on the horn pad, or even your thumbs for that matter. Pick hand positions which are comfortable to you and try not to cross your arms when turning the wheel. It's difficult to do - a habit you typically got into early on and will be hard to break. I still find myself crossing my arms when turning even though I write articles like this all the time.

Driving mantra Part 2 - Don't use your brakes unless absolutely necessary.

2009-09-19T16:15:00.001-06:00

This one is difficult to master if you're a nervous driver who is always on the brakes. What you need to understand is that your tail lights are your only real form of communication with those behind you. If you're constantly tapping the brake - or worse - driving with your foot on the brake all the time - it's like crying wolf. The driver behind you has no indication of if you're really slowing down, or just nervously tapping the brake for no reason. When you do need to stop, everyone behind you is conditioned to think you're just nervously fiddling with the brake pedal again, and that's one way to ensure being rear ended.
So what do I mean by "don't use your brakes"? Simple - take your foot off the accelerator. Your car will naturally begin to slow down. If you're not slowing down enough, then you may use the brake. But if you're in motorway traffic and the brake lights come on in front of you, just take your foot off the accelerator first. Chances are the person in front is a nervous braker. 9 times out of 10, a slight slow down on your part will be all that is needed, and because you didn't brake yourself, you've not amplified the problem for those behind you.
Why drive like this? Well - a good deal of traffic jams are known as phantom or shockwave traffic jams. The traffic is stopped for no other reason than a nervous braker. It works like this - someone gets a bit twitchy and instead of simply reducing their speed with the accelerator, they dab the brake. The person behind them does the same, only a fraction harder. Behind and to the sides, people now see two brake lights so they all begin to dab the brakes a little too. Each dab of the brakes slows down the traffic in that lane by a tiny fraction until suddenly, a kilometre behind you, everyone has come to a complete stop. There's your phantom traffic jam. If you were able to observe this from above, it looks like a shockwave travelling backwards through the traffic. In effect - particles bunching up and pulling apart. Remember the river analogy from part 1 of this series? If you want to see this in a mini simulation, this little java application can be tweaked to show the problem very clearly : A Microsimulation of road traffic. Set it to 'ring road' and watch what happens - you don't need to tweak anything but after a few seconds you'll see a shockwave traffic jam form. Think about this next time you're driving.

Driving mantra - a mini series of blog entries.

2009-09-14T16:14:00.001-06:00

After a long and detailed conversation with a movie stunt driver recently, I've been spurred on to write a series of articles which I'm going to publish in the blog over the next few weeks. It will be a series talking about driving skills and how you can do your part to help both yourself and all those around you on the road. This isn't "speed kills" or anything like that, but hopefully a series of bite-sized chunks of information to give you something to think about. It might cover topics you already know about. It might make you think "crap - I do that!" or it might make you think a little more about what's going on when you drive. Either way, I hope you find it useful. Feel free to comment as usual.

Part 1 - Traffic is like a flowing river.
This is the best way to think of traffic. Imagine all the cars are particles of water flowing in a river. If you slow down for no reason, you cause an obstruction like a rock being dropped in the river. Water - the other vehicles - now have to either slow down or go around you, which causes turbulence behind you and to the sides. Turbulence slows down the flow and causes problems. The same is true if you are going to pull out in to traffic - make sure there's enough room or you create a blockage and more turbulence. Apart from your own safety and that of others around you, your sole job is to get from A to B without causing any interruption in the flow of the river.

The Fiat 500 to come to the US?

2009-09-09T08:17:00.002-06:00

It seems that Chrysler will be bringing the Fiat 500 to the US in about a year or so, largely unchanged. Wow. This is awesome news. I just wonder if they really will be able to resist the urge to Americanise it. I mean look at what Ford did to the Focus - in Europe a svelte, fast, sporty, economical and attractive car. In America, a porky shitbox that struggles to get decent gas mileage, speed or handling:

Those ARE the same car - look at the glass shape in the windows. It's just that for the US, Ford Americanised the car. Is it any wonder that they have trouble competing in their home market? Fortunately, now that Jacques Nasser and William Clay Ford (Jr) have both gone, Ford US are planning to bring this car over in 2010 badged as a 2011 model year so people will finally be able to see what a proper European-spec car is like. Hopefully it will force the other manufacturers to do the same thing.

So with Chrysler - what will the do to the Fiat 500? Will it become an SUV? Will they add 500lbs of weight to it and neuter the engine to get only 20mpg? I don't trust the US car manufacturers to do anything right, so I'm going to be watching the Fiat 500 story with interest. If they do bring it here, and more importantly, if they bring the Abarth here without cocking around with it, they'll have a winner on their hands:

Utah is the first state to sort of get it.

2009-09-04T07:58:00.000-06:00

Living in Utah I'm pleased to see that they recently passed a new bill here to do with texting whilst driving: It views the act is inherently reckless and punishes it as harshly as drunk driving. It's a far stronger law than most of those already existing in other states; California's, for example, punishes offenders with a tiny fine, usually around $20.
The problem is that they still treat it as a secondary offence - ie. you can't actually be stopped by the police if they see you texting. That's a problem. Until it's a primary offence, and one that is enforced properly, it's not going to stop anybody. In fact on the evening news, they even said "so it's OK to check your email and surf the web, but make sure you don't text".
WTF?
How about "put the goddamn phone down and engage your brain in the act of driving".
The police and politicians are quick to spout the usual lie about "speeding kills" (which it doesn't - fact - you can read about that in the facts and fiction about speeding) but they won't do anything about people who use cellphones whilst driving.
Whereas only 4% of accidents can be directly attributed to speeding, your chances of being involved in an accident whilst texting go up 2300% (source). Why aren't the police taking this seriously? For that matter, why do they not care about people who read the newspaper, do their makeup, use the laptop or any of the other multitude of distractions that people engage themselves with in front of me every day on my morning commute? Is it because America is the country that has actually encouraged laptop use whilst driving with products like the Laptop Copilot (below)? I know the manufacturers will claim it shouldn't be used whilst driving but I've seen people doing exactly this. (I'd like to see the airbag go off and see what happens).
This can't be a revenue thing - the police would make far more stopping people for texting than they'll ever do by stopping people for doing 31mph in a 30 zone. This whole thing is such a mystery to me. It's so obviously a problem yet nobody is willing to do anything about it. Why demonise speeding when texting causes far more accidents?

Those who see, those who don't, and those who don't care.

2009-08-30T16:27:00.000-06:00

Some friends and I went for a long motorcycle ride last weekend - up in the mountains in the cool air. It was fantastic but it reminded me that when you're on a motorbike, there are essentially three categories of car driver. Those who see you, those who don't, and those who see you but just don't care.
On narrow mountain roads, for the most part, the lanes are separated with a double yellow line. Passing opportunities are few and far between - you can ride for miles before coming across a broken yellow.

When you come up behind a car driver, those who see you are normally very accommodating. Realising you are infinitely faster than they are on a mountain road, they'll pull to the side and slow down, and/or pull in at a lay-by, and/or wave you past. This is nice - you know you've been seen and a friendly wave as you pass them helps seal the deal.

The drivers who don't see you are the same ones who cause all the motorbike accidents. They'll happily run you down as much as look at you, mostly because they're busy corralling the kids, arguing with the co-driver or more likely, texting on their phones. These are simply lost causes - you have no choice other than to sit well back to give them room to drive like total dicks, and then pass them when the markings allow. More often than not, taking them by surprise.

The last category are those drivers who've clearly seen you, and are deliberately doing everything possible to prevent you from passing. Normally this involves driving incredibly slowly when the lines in the middle of the road are double yellow, then speeding up and drifting to the left when you get to a passing area.

Motorcyclists all love driver type 1. We deal with driver type 2 because we have to. Driver type 3? Well, the less said about them, the better. You know who you are and you know where you can go.

From a motorcyclist to all the type 1 drivers who have seen me and acknowledged me: thank you. Especially the guy towing the boat up Mount Nebo loop a few weeks back who pulled the entire rig over on to the soft shoulder and waved me through. I appreciate it.

Please - use your brain.

2009-08-26T15:59:00.000-06:00

In my ongoing theme of intolerance of idiot drivers, it seems to me that less and less people are able to use their brains nowadays. This was illustrated again today on the way to lunch. The situation is a little unique - the intersection in question has two left turn lanes. About half way along, there's a street on the left. People want to turn out of that street into the turn lanes so they invariably sit there for ages, waiting to cross traffic and try to force their way in to the lanes that are full of traffic waiting to turn.
The solution is so brilliantly elegant that it illustrates just how stupid some drivers are. If they turned right out of that road and then did a legal U-turn, they could simply join the line of traffic waiting to turn.
But no.
Today, the incredibly short woman in the ridiculously large SUV decided it was in fact better to block the entire road, than it was to use her brain. When she eventually did push in to the traffic, she had to cross a slightly raised kerb and a painted double yellow line to do so, thus not only demonstrating her stupidity, but her complete lack of understanding of road signs and traffic markings.
Why?
Why do people have such a hard time using their brain? I just don't understand it. Are people really evolving to be so idiotically stupid that they can't perform the most simple tasks of reasoning and elemental problem-solving? Or is it just plain selfishness?

Yet another idiot driver causes yet another accident.

2009-08-22T15:53:00.000-06:00

A few days ago I was driving home when I came across an odd sight. At one particular set of traffic lights with two lanes each way and a turn lane, all the traffic in the outside lane was standing still at a green light. The inside lane was completely clear. Figuring it was the usual inattentiveness of the driver at the front (who hadn't noticed the green light), both me and the car in front went down the inside lane which was clear. Sadly, it was a trap. The driver at the front of the other lane was in fact attempting to turn right from the left turn lane. He did this just as the driver in front of me got to the front of the queue. The driver in front of me hit the guy who was turning broadside and shoved the entire wreckage into the middle of the intersection. I was able to stop in time for it not to become a three-car pile-up. Once again I found myself filing yet another accident witness statement to the police. I made sure it was crystal clear in my statement that the guy who caused the accident was the idiot who turned right from the left lane. I'd like to think he'd get some sort of punishment for being such a retard, but in my heart I know he'll get a small fine and be left to go on with his life, probably to cause more accidents in future.

Helmet shopping

2009-08-18T13:40:00.000-06:00

From time to time (and when the funk in my current helmet is too much to bear) I find myself shopping for motorcycle helmets. It's a strange world though. From the alphabet-soup manufacturers (HJC and the like) to the high-end Japanese jobs (Shoei, Arai), there's a gigantic amount of choice, and a similarly gigantic amount of variation. The key to a helmet of course is that it must protect your noggin in the event of a spill, and to that end, most helmets are DOT, SNELL or BSA approved nowadays. Given that metric, a $70 helmet ought to protect as much as a $700 helmet. And they do. So it then comes down to style - the way it looks - solid colours or graphics, and fit and build quality. Sadly for me, I have a Shoei shaped head. I don't mind - I like Shoei helmets because they fit well and are built well, but I say 'sadly' because that puts me in the $350 range for a new lid. I've never been able to fit into Arai helmets because they always seem to be too oval for me but this time around I was able to try on a lot more manufacturers products than normal. I must have had my head in 40 helmets trying them for fit and it ultimately came down to three. The HJC CL-15 actually fit really nicely once I took the noseguard out. It had some funky graphics options but felt a little 'cheap'. The Scorpion Exo 700 was similar - a nice fit although a little tight across the forehead. The whole feel of the helmet was more polished although it did have a lot of vents on it which makes me wonder how noisy it would be. Ultimately, as always seems to be the case though, I got to Shoei and popped on a TZ-R and it fit like a glove first time out. Typical. Questionable personal taste in graphics aside, this is what I ended up with then:

Redundant (adj). See "Ford".

2009-08-14T14:58:00.000-06:00

Long-time readers of my site or this blog will know I'm not one for nanny cars. So it should come as no surprise to find that I'm appalled by what I found when looking through the Acura brochures recently. Specifically, 2010 Acura MDX is able to use its GPS to determine the location of the sun in relation to the car, which it then uses to adapt the climate control to blow cooler on the sunny side of the vehicle. Tell me: how much extra technology (in terms of motors, sensors, processors etc) did it take to make this happen? What's wrong with an analogue heat control and a knob to tell the system where to blow the air?
It's like adaptive cruise control, auto brakes, blind spot sensors, auto windscreen wipers and auto lights - all technologies designed to prevent the driver from having to use a consistently high level of attention to pilot their 2 ton weapon. Instead, people are being coccooned from the outside world and pampered to in the worst way possible. Why do none of the manufacturers understand that this causes more accidents? The more people are isolated from the act of driving, the lazier and more dangerous they become. Or is this the backdoor way of "proving" that we all need autopiloted cars? Make cars so dangerous and people so irresponsible that the only option is to take all control away from us to make us "safe" again? Puh-lease.
But the award for the most retarded and redundant car accessory this year? Well that goes to Ford with their 2010 Mustang GT. Sports car it certainly is not, but to make it sound more like a sports car, they've added sound pipes - an extra pipe from the exhaust that is routed up around the inside of the dash to bring engine sound into the cabin. Umm. Surely if they hadn't added all the extra sound deadening in first place, they wouldn't need the extra pipe so you could hear the engine? Plus the weight loss from throwing away the extra plumbing and sound deadening would lighten the car significantly and make it more sporty to drive, and more sporty to listen to.
Insulating you from the engine noise, then deliberately adding complexity to bring the engine noise into the cabin. Genius.

You've got a big engine - use it!

2009-08-09T07:24:00.000-06:00

One of the things that really irritates me about our local drivers is that on the one hand they complain constantly that they need big cars with big engines because small, fuel-economic European cars are either unsafe, too small, or the engine isn't big enough. On the other hand, these are the same people who drive at 19mph in a 40mph zone in a car on their own. Why post a blog entry about this? Obviously because this is what happened to me this morning. I was forced to endure one of the worst commutes of recent months because I got stuck in roadworks behind someone who was driving a Saleen-modified Mustang. Normally you wouldn't think that would be an issue, but this joyless driver was doing 14mph in a 55mph work zone. Every bump in the road, every construction cone that was slightly out of place, and every corner caused the brake lights to come on. He was either nervous, talentless, or too stupid to own a car of any sort.
But here's the point - if you own a 5.4l V8 that is capable of putting out over 500bhp, damn well use it! Most American drivers don't need most of the cars they own. A 32v Northstar engine is a complete waste of time - so is a Hemi - so is anything modified with a supercharger or a turbo unless you're actually going to benefit from it. So instead of bitching about why you need a behemoth of a car riddled with 1950's 'technology', why not buy something modern? A Smart car, or a Fiat 500, or a Ford Focus, or a VW Polo Bluemotion. These are all respectable cars (well - in European form anyway) that are perfectly safe, perfectly roomy, and perfectly fuel economic. And they're all still capable of going faster than 14mph in a work zone.

Philip Odegard's speeding ticket

2009-08-04T17:10:00.000-06:00

All hail Philip Odegard - the man who allegedly managed to go over 210mph in a Bugatti Veyron and get a speeding ticket for his trouble. Jalopnik and Top Gear both ran the story originally, but now Odegard has removed the ticket from his Flickr photostream, and the CHP confirmed it was a fake. The ticket was doctored from a 100mph one that he received whilst driving a 2004 Infiniti. The original ticket has also vanished from Odegard's Flickr photostream. Fortunately, keen-eyed car nerds like me grabbed a copy while we could.
There's a couple of issues with the original story that would lead you to believe it really is a fake.

The first is : how the hell did a stock police cruiser actually catch a Veyron? Unless the CHP have invested in McLaren F1's, there's no way this happened. The ticket is an "in person" ticket, not one from a speed camera so the implication is that the cruiser either caught him up, or he just stopped. Frankly if I was going that fast in a Veyron, I'd know the police couldn't catch me and I'd keep going.

The second problem is this : police issue radar guns timeout at about 179mph - you just get and "EE" message on the display, meaning "error". So Odegard could not have been clocked at "210+" as the ticket indicates.

The final problem is the speed itself. 210mph is 308 feet per second. That's just shy of one regulation football (soccer for the Americans) pitch per second. At that speed, by the time the officer had registered the Veyron, put down the radar gun, flicked on the lights and sirens, started the engine and pulled out, the Veyron would have already been over a third of a mile away. Odegard would not have even seen the cop in his mirrors.

Schumacher Returns

2009-07-30T07:45:00.002-06:00

The bizarre accident in qualifying last weekend that put Felipe Massa in hospital has thrown a bit of a spanner into this year's Formula 1 championship. Faced with an empty seat, Ferrari have done the unthinkable and appeased Schumacher fans the world over : Michael Schumacher is going to race Massa's seat for the remainder of the season. I'm giddy like an excited schoolgirl at the prospect of this, because for the first time it means Alonso and Button are going to get to drive on track, in racing conditions, with the greatest Formula 1 driver of all time. Presuming of course that he's still got it - and I hope he has. Whilst I'm ambivalent about the politics of Ferrari and how they manipulate the Formula 1 stewards, I was always a huge Schumacher fan. To see him come out of retirement for even one race would be awesome. To see him race a half season - even under these unfortunate circumstances - is more than most of us would have hoped for.
And what about Massa? Well his injuries are severe. To bring you up to speed, in qualifying last weekend, the heave spring on the rear of Barrichello's car popped out and started bouncing along the track. Felipe Massa was the next car around and unfortunately, that spring was in mid-bounce and slammed into Massa's helmet near the visor at 160mph. Massa was knocked unconscious and straight-lined the next corner slamming into the tyre wall. He was taken to hospital, where he still is, with a brain contusion, and probably a fractured skull and eye socket. The good news is that he's responsive now, and walking around under his own steam. The arguments have already started about the relative safety of open-cockpit racing cars but hopefully they'll stay just that - arguments. With all the rest of the regulations that we get in Formula 1, the last thing we need is closed cockpit cars. This was a freak accident and a testament to the strength and design of the Schuberth helmet that Massa was wearing. We should all hope he gets well soon and is able to race next year, but in the meantime, we should watch with interest what, if anything, Schumacher can do.

2009 Camaro : Big Bucket of Fail

2009-07-26T16:13:00.001-06:00

The big US car manufacturers always seem to be caught wondering why people buy imports rather than their own home-grown products. Generally speaking it's because they build awful cars and they don't seem to want to improve. Case in point the new Camaro. Great looking car superficially, but when it comes to the details - not so much. Users at Camaro5 have started penning a combined list of problems with their brand new vehicles. Now everyone expects one or two issues with a new car, especially the first production run, but this list demonstrates clearly why the US car industry is in such trouble. The Camaro had the chance to be the saving grace - a new start - a chance to prove that GM really was capable of building a truly 21st century car. Instead, a long and horrifying list of items, a lot of which are non trivial.
Highlights?
The trunk doesn't open with the key or the remote unless you're pushing down on it.
Lots of loose and misaligned body panels outside, and loose and misaligned trim panels inside. Overheating and exposed, uninsulated wiring. Paint runs, bubbles and chips. Leaking radiators. A digital speedometer that's both inaccurate and only functions intermittently. An AC system that stops blowing cold air intermittently. Rims and tyres coming off the delivery transports in bad condition or damaged. Faulty gas gauges (improper readings). Missing brake parts.
For the full 68 reasons why you need to seriously reconsider buying a Camaro, visit Camaro5.

Stone chips in your windscreen

2009-07-20T13:12:00.000-06:00

As you'd expect from driving a vehicle with a near vertical windscreen, rock chips are an occupational hazard in a Honda Element. So many people get little chips and dings and think nothing of it, or put off a repair.
Just do it.
Get down to your local rock chip repair place and pay them the $20 or £15. I went to a Technaglass near where I live and it took them about 10 minutes. The chip is still slightly visible from a cosmetic point of view but that's not the issue. Most rock chip repairs are structural which means that when winter comes around, there's less chance of water getting in to the pits and cracks, freezing, expanding and making things worse. Apart from that, your windscreen undergoes a lot of torque and flex in the day to day driving of a car. Small cracks and chips lead to bigger cracks and chips which ultimately will lead to a new windscreen.
Or you could spend barely anything today to mitigate that happening.

Why can't Utahns park properly?

2009-07-17T07:28:00.005-06:00

There's a sad joke here in Utah - it's called "Utah Drivers". The irony is that they don't realise they're the joke. Of the many peculiar, dangerous and lazy driving practices the people in this state adopt, the inability to park is a pet favourite of mine. Generally speaking, if there's any possible way to completely mess up the parking process, Utahns will be right there. Can't reverse park? Check. Can't park forwards? Check. Can't judge the length or width of their own car? Check. Don't understand which way to leave the front wheels when parked on a hill? Check. The picture here was taken yesterday in a local parking lot, and is typical of the problem. This rocket scientist isn't straight, has no idea of the length or width of their car and doesn't understand what the markings in the parking lot are for. As a result they've inconvenienced everyone else most likely because they just couldn't be bothered to do it properly. So here's to you 281PEB. You're now famous for being a complete tool.

Doing TV work

2009-07-13T19:47:00.000-06:00

If you've read the CarMD review on my site, you'll know that I recommend it as quite a useful tool. Well today I was called up to do my bit for the world of infomercials. As the author of this site, CarMD wanted me to do some time on camera giving a testimonial about their product. It's important for me to stress to you all that there was zero financial reward for this - they simply asked if I'd do it, and I said "sure thing".
The day was a lot of fun. I've been on TV before for various things, from the original Boycott The Pumps protest back in England in 2000, to motoring shows on TV, to the odd news spot where they've wanted a talking head that knew something about cars. Today was no different. We spent about 40 minutes filming, of which I expect to see between 8 and 12 seconds used in one of their ads.
I don't know if I'm going to feature in regular TV ads, short or long infomercials, but if you see a CarMD commercial come on, don't skip it this time - watch closely and you might see me. I'm the English bloke wearing the blue and grey shirt ....